For What Do You Labor?

Steve Jobs’ recent announcement about stepping down as the CEO of Apple prompted a lot of discussions about his legacy as a major business leader. Among the reflections shared were those around the commencement speech he gave at Stanford University in 2005 during which he urged everyone to do what you love. If you don’t happen to love what you do, “Keep looking. Don’t settle,” he said.

As we head into the Labor Day weekend, it’s a good question to ask, “Am I doing what I love?” If your answer is “No,” what are you doing about it? The answer to that question may seem too obvious to state but probably too uncomfortable to face as well. That is, figure out what you love and go do it! After all, life is too short. Do you really want to wait for terminal illness, being laid off or having some other disruptive life event to make the choice for you to leave what you don’t love?

Finding what we love requires us to have a very intimate understanding of ourselves and our purpose in this life. Yet, this can be a tall order. After all, with the way life works, we started learning since we were kids who to be, how to behave to be accepted. There was a finite window in our childhood when there were no contingencies around our dreams and desires, nor limits to what was possible. That is before we learned to filter every wish and desire through the lens of social acceptance. Then, we spend decades continuing to build our lives – and our identities – to conform to acceptable norms and expectations, e.g., getting educated, getting married and raising a family, being financially secure, etc. Many of us get really, really good at following these socially sanctioned prescriptions of how to live. Before we know it, we’ve created a life we're supposed to love, except we don’t. How did that happen? Does this sound familiar?

So, what do you do if you aren’t doing what you love? Jobs’ recommendation is right on, “Keep looking. Don’t settle.” I’d go one step further to emphasize that the looking starts internally. Try the following.

If you aren't doing what you love, love what you’re doing right now.

This step is a must: Honor what you’re doing right now. Identify the good in your unsatisfying work life, e.g., good friends you’ve made at work, the paychecks you get regularly to sustain your life, etc. Appreciate them. Be grateful for them. Charge your consciousness to be magnetic to these conditions wherever you go next professionally. Start releasing the negative emotions and judgments associated with your current job by practicing forgiveness. Don’t forget to include yourself, if you’ve judged yourself for not having the guts to leave what you know doesn’t serve you. If you’re currently out of work, practice appreciation and gratitude for your previous job(s), and release any resentment, anger and other negative energy around the economy, being let go, etc.. 

Turn what you hate into what you love.

Make a list of all the undesirable conditions in your current job. Be exhaustive with your list. Once you’ve done that, pivot each condition to the opposite. For instance, “underpaid” to ”being paid well,” “overworked” to “great work-life balance,” etc. Identify the top 5 pivoted conditions. Visualize yourself working in these conditions often. 

Engage your forgotten inner child.

Go back to the unfiltered days of your childhood and remember what you truly loved to do. Was it being creative? Was it about building things? Tell your rational mind to take a nap. In your mind’s eye, close the door for a few moments to challenging thoughts like, “Yeah but I can’t make a living doing this,” or “That was only child’s play, not practical now considering the responsibilities I have,” etc. Journal on the insights that come up. Draw if it resonates with you more. Give your inner child some air time to tell you what you’ve forgotten that your true self loved to express. 

What’s the legacy you want to leave behind?

If you were to think ahead to the end of your life looking back, for what would you like to be remembered? Clearly, your legacy would include much more than work. But, if you were to leave this world having lived a fulfilling life of joy, loving what you do will have been a part of it, whether it’s work for pay or not. This question is worth pondering. And, when you know the legacy you want to leave behind, how would you live to fulfill this picture?

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Once you are tuned into your inner compass to direct you, what’s revealed to you one step at a time will bring more purpose and fulfillment. Before long, the word “work” will take on a whole different meaning, because it won’t feel like work anymore. This journey of looking within may take some time, and the length varies from individual to individual. But know that you cannot miss your life. As you continue looking, remember always to honor yourself and where you are in your life. Whether or not it makes sense right now, you’re always exactly where you need to be.

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There are more tools to help you tap into your inner wisdom to uncover what you love in my book, REACH Your Dreams: Five Steps to be a Conscious Creator in Your Life. Find out more here.

If you love my book, I’d be so grateful if you’d consider writing a couple sentences about it on amazon.com.

Practicing APP

No, I’m not talking about what to download to your smart phone. APP represents three key ingredients for living with intention, rather than just marking time: Authenticity, Purpose and Passion. Let’s talk about these in turn.

Authenticity

We live in a world in which we’re constantly managing our image and reputation--whether we’re aware of doing that or not. Fundamentally, as human beings, we all want to be liked and accepted, to be considered a good person and/or really good at what we do. We want to present our best face. We’ve learned since childhood what to do to gain approval. If we aren’t mindful, we can easily fall into the trap of becoming a lifelong chameleon, contorting ourselves to be someone we think we need to be in order to be accepted. However, moving from act to act to gain fleeting acceptance ultimately leaves us empty. Are we truly accepted for who we are? No, because we didn’t represent our authentic selves. 

Real connections, whether personal or business, can only be formed and sustained when we show up as our authentic selves. We bring who we are, what we’re about to these relationships. We coach, lead, follow, support, collaborate, share our lives with others who know that they can trust us, that what they see is who we are and what they’ll get. They know we aren’t perfect, just like they aren’t, even if we have different strengths and shortcomings. That’s why we complement each other. That’s why when we come together with others, the whole of the community, the organization, the partnership is more than the sum of its parts. When we’re comfortable with our vulnerabilities and let others see that we’re committed to being authentic, it inspires them to do the same. In turn, we learn, grow and thrive together.

Purpose

We live in a very busy world, full of things to do, commitments to meet. When we get to a certain stage in our lives, we’re parents, children of elderly parents, in addition to being working professionals who spend most of our waking hours doing jobs that, quite frankly, many of us dread. We aren’t sure how it happened, but somewhere along the way of growing up to become adults, we become saddled with responsibilities. We either never really knew our purpose in this life or we knew at one point--could be in the form of a childhood dream--but somehow feel we have lost our way.

When we approach something with purpose, e.g., volunteer for a cause in which we deeply believe, or participate in a family event with the intended purpose to (re-)connect instead of simply feeling obliged, there’s a joyful and expansive energy that fills us up. Have you ever noticed that? Conversely, whenever we do anything out of a sense of “should,” there’s a tenseness we carry with us that may manifest as sore necks and/or backs, difficulty sleeping, indigestion or any number of physical or psychological symptoms. All of us come into this life for the purpose of creating joy and growing, even if the specifics differ from person to person. The more we become mindful of choosing what to do and why we want to do it, we become tuned into our true selves and tapped into the flow of creation in the universe.

Passion

Do you remember being really into something (or someone) and how limitless the possibilities seem when you feel that passion coursing through your veins? When we aren’t doing something for which we feel passion, it becomes drudgery. That’s why, when we don’t love what we do, we find ourselves on the weekly treadmill of dreading every Monday morning, willing ourselves to slug through the week, waiting to exclaim “TGIF!” (Thank goodness it’s Friday!). Instead of passion, much of what we do is motivated by what we feel are obligations. As a result, we spend more time doing things grudgingly rather than giving of ourselves freely and joyfully--because that joy boomerangs back to us multiplied.

When we’re passionate about something that’s objectively big and scary, our love for and belief in it fuels our resolve to move mountains to make it happen. It’s not that we don’t feel fear or self-doubt; rather, the passion we feel is greater. That’s why so many self-development experts urge us to find and follow our passion. That’s why we hear such wisdom as when we love what we do, it isn’t work.

Call to Action

For many of us, we feel less than authentic, purposeful and passionate about our lives. Does that mean we all need a life overhaul? No, unless you feel called to do so. Otherwise, life is a process. What we can all do is inject APP into our daily lives. Here are some points to contemplate and practice:

1. What one simple thing can you mindfully do every day to honor your authentic self? May be it’s feeling ok to say “no” to something that you truly don’t want to do. May be it’s feeling ok about getting a little emotional about something that touches you.

2. Before you do something, think about the purpose your action would fulfill other than obligation. For instance, go to your child’s recital with the purpose of celebrating the talent of your child. Go to work with the purpose of making one customer’s experience better directly or indirectly by what you do. 
 
3. Do something each week (or more often if you can) that really engages your passion. Perhaps it’s taking a pottery or drawing class. Perhaps it’s volunteering your time to visit the elderly.
 

With mindful practice, we can all up our APP quotient in our lives.