The Other Side of Fear

Earlier this week, I got an unsolicited offer to accept a personal loan from one of my banks. It was the second time in the last month or so that I got this solicitation. I didn’t accept it the first time, as doing so would go against my lifelong belief of not taking on personal debt beyond the necessities, i.e., mortgage and car. I didn’t even take on student loans to get my master’s and doctoral degrees. But, when the bank loan was offered to me a second time, I accepted. Why? I recognized it as a synchronistic offer of financial assistance.

A few hours after I accepted the bank loan, I found out about the costs of a yearlong marketing and publicity program for which I wanted to apply. Let’s just say that it’s really expensive. If I didn’t have this bank loan in my back pocket, I’d completely have been scared off by the costs. I simply couldn’t afford it. After all, I’m walking away from my livelihood to follow my calling – to serve as many people as possible with the message of REACH. In short, my known income source is about to dry up. That part of me which is my ego was quick to issue warnings: Have I lost my mind?! Give up income AND spend a huge sum of money, even potentially going into debt? Am I on a fast track to self-destruction?

As I applied for the program, I felt major butterflies in my stomach. Fear was most certainly present. But, in the mix of strong emotions was also an unwavering sense of conviction that I must do this. After all, getting the message of REACH out isn’t about feeding my ego. It’s entirely about following a higher calling that exceeds what my human mind has been able to comprehend every step of the way – ever since I wrote the first sentence in the book.

Faith was also calling to me, as if saying “Look here. Don’t look at fear. You’re well loved and supported.” The first tangible signs of that love and support came from my peeps at Conscious Living Center. (Thank you again, dear Prayer Team!) One of them reminded me of the fact that I’ve taken many leaps of faith in my life and have never fallen flat on my face. Why would this time be any different? Even if the scale of this leap is so much bigger – and seems to be getting bigger all the time – I know the same principles apply. And, my soul knows that I’m ready to grow into my higher calling. All leaps of faith I had taken previously were simply dress rehearsals for the real deal.

I’m very happy to say that I’ve been accepted into the program, which will kick off with a 3-day training in Philadelphia in June. Jack Canfield, someone I admire and respect, will be the guest speaker on the third day. Granted I’ll have to take a red-eye flight to make the training – I’ve already scheduled a talk and workshop the day I need to fly out – I’m really excited! Even before this program officially starts, there are already indicators that this investment I’m making will spread the message of REACH to far, far more people than I could ever accomplish alone. I feel so blessed to have a support team, coaches and experts to help me fulfill my life’s mission in ways I have yet to be able to fully appreciate right now.

Yes, I’m stretched out of my comfort zone – way out. And, I’m sure I’m not done stretching yet. Is it scary? I can’t even begin to describe in words! But, as they say, life never gives you more than you can handle. I’m a firm believer of that. Besides, when I accepted the Divine assignment to be the author and spokesperson of REACH, I signed up to do whatever it takes to do the best job I can do, one day at a time, one decision at a time, one step at a time. On some days, it means mustering up just enough gumption to stare big fears in the face and push forward in spite of them. Other days, it means consciously looking at the other side of fear and feeling grateful for all the support that’s already here. On any day, it means recognizing what I need to do and just do it, no ifs or buts.

I also realize I need to take a bit of my own advice – to give myself a pat on the back for having the courage and conviction to say “Yes” to life over and over again, especially when it’s anything but easy to do that. “Yes” to things that scare the living daylights out of me. “Yes” to leaving my comfort zone to fulfill a higher purpose bigger than my human comprehension. “Yes” to being an instrument to help awaken consciousness. “Yes” to walking in faith. “Yes” to committing again and again to be what I want to be in this life – Love in motion, Grace in motion.

I’ve learned that fear is very real and not to be shoved aside or dismissed. The best that we can do is to take its charge off and not let it stop us from doing what we need to do. Facing fear is the ultimate opportunity to choose to look at the other side, to welcome the many faces of Grace. Courage, Faith, Conviction and Excitement are just some of the infinite derivatives.